Lifequakes
I’ve taken time off from my childminding and sleeping practice over this last year. I had a trauma involving my husband and decided to step back and take time for us to heal and process everything.
It got me thinking of the ‘lifequake’ that is parenthood. Whether it’s your first child or subsequent siblings or adoption.
Suddenly your whole world spins on its axis and nothing is ever the same again.
The trauma your body and brain goes through can take a long while to heal and subside and the aftershocks last a lifetime.
My brain has forgotten many things and has trouble remembering and recalling information. I think it needed to be on high alert to cope with the immediate shock and is taking its time to recover. Parenting is often the same and people expect to bounce back quickly. Take your time!
The sheer enormity of sleep deprivation is staggering and for many it may be their first experience of what the brain and body goes through during lack of sleep and how you go into survival mode and yet have to function on a day to day level. This is often exasperated, if like many countries, mum’s have to return to work in 3 months. The levels of paternity leave is another huge subject.
I think there are too many pressures and expectations on parents nowadays. There has never been so much information and advice available, yet this often confuses and is conflicting. How do you know what you are doing is right/wrong, will it harm my little ones and have consequences in their later lives.
Here’s my take on it as a parent of 42 years and Childcare Practitioner of 30 years. Go with your instincts, it’s your child, it comes from a place of love. We all make mistakes, nothing is more certain in our lives. And I’ve made some doozies but I have 3 amazingly talented adult children with absolutely gorgeous grandchildren. I’ll take some credit for that. 😂
Life is not linear, with everything in a neat tidy row following a prescribed path. But life is often undulating, sometimes with huge peaks and low troughs. I certainly did everything a ‘different’ way round, I’m certainly not conventional but what is nowadays? Go with your gut (your second brain) Everything else is noise.
In the meantime I’m going to try and kick start my brain into gear again, revisit some of my learning and get back on my working horse and start again.
Good luck to all those new and existing parents out there. Find your tribe/community, ask for help, follow advice loosely and be yourself, your little ones will love you for it. They are your most treasured and precious things in your entire life. Enjoy 💜
